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Thursday, February 12, 2015

Today, 2/12/15

With the big choice I have in my lap waiting for my decision to be made, I've been thinking who I can ask for their thoughts. The doctors, my family, my boyfriend. It is helpful in that I am able to consider some things that I haven't thought of that others bring up as a point of interest. The doctors share their intelligence, my parents talk about how the seizures and changes affect my daily life, and my boyfriend talks about my hopes and goals for the future. All of which I have found important.

But, I have realized that there are some things I need to take into my own hands and make the decision on my own. I am one to listen to others waiting for them to share what they think my decision should be and go with it. But there comes a time when it is about me and what I want for myself. I needed someone to tell me that, and I got that today. I learned that from my boyfriend. He reminded me today about reaching my personal hopes and goals, yet he added something important: only I can accomplish doing that.

While I am glad I asked others for their thoughts, as it helped me think about things that didn't come to mind on my own, I noticed that it is my time to make a decision on my own. Nobody else will be standing in my shoes to live through the results of the choice made.

To focus on my present life being able to return to work with minimal seizures or to focus on a future life seizure free with the ability to have my own children while hindering my present . That is my question.

Today's Status:
Nervous. 2 seizures today- most likely caused by my stress of making a choice on my own.

Hopes for the Future:
Reaching my personal hopes and goals using my own strength and decisions.