Sunday, March 1, 2015

Today, 3/1/15

Tonight will be my first night sleeping in an empty home. Part of me is embracing the independence, yet part of me feels lonely and a bit helpless. By helpless, I don't mean I can't do anything on my own, but I know I'm stuck here in my apartment and can't get myself anywhere and if there were to be a problem, nobody is in the house to help me... Welcome back to real life. 

As much as I've been longing for independence, I have now realized how much more grateful I am to be with those who are always there to help me. I've been grateful for them since the beginning, but the big change makes it stand out even more. 

Independence for someone in my shoes is different in some ways from an "everyday person"... Though really, there is no such thing as a person like that. Anyhow, in the morning when I wake up I'm going to make myself breakfast- pancakes in fact, just like the "every day person". In this scenario, the difference being in my shoes? When I forget that I don't have any syrup, I can't get myself to the store and everyone is at work that lives within a short distance of me. So instead I'll just stick with having eggs. I whip out every thing to make my omelet, cut up the veggies, take out the pan and put it on the stove. Stop right there- the example the doctor gave me about living independently was, "what if you're cooking on the stove and a seizure is coming with the flame going and you attempt to turn it off or forget to before the aura is over and the seizure comes?" I put the pan away with that thought in the back of my head. 

Tomorrow's exciting breakfast on my own? Cereal.

But hey, I'm one step further towards becoming one of these non-existent "everyday people"... I slept overnight in an empty house. For me, every step counts :-)

Today's Status:
No seizures and independent overnight. 

Hopes for the Future:
Cook myself some pancakes over the stove, drive to the store to grab some syrup, and enjoy my breakfast- alone in my home.